12.16.2008

coming up for breath.

needless to say, my poor little craft blog (and much of any semblance of crafting, as well) has fallen by the wayside of the full-time job that is feeding and nurturing this little bundle of life we have named kenna.
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it's hard to believe that almost three weeks have passed since her arrival, and christmas is suddenly on it's way again! i'm having a hard time getting into the swing of christmas this year... i suppose as a result of new-parent exhaustion, the neverending demands of breastfeeding, and the sad sigh i feel each time i think of christmas last year. despite the sweet distraction of my own little baby girl, the difficulty of the first christmas without my mom is certainly not overshadowed.

i don't feel like it's really christmas... a celebration i used to get really excited about feels like just time to "get through" this year, and i hate that. but i can't seem to work up the energy emotionally or physically to put up decorations or make stockings as i very badly wanted to. we do at least have a tree up, but that's only because matt was so great about taking care of getting it done. even so, it is only a pre-lit tree- the box of ornaments sits cold in the garage. one preparation that used to be pure joy at christmas- taking out the ornaments and savoring the memories each one holds- is now intimidating for fear that it will be just a little too heartbreaking to bear.

we ordered our christmas photo cards from shutterfly again this year, and i love how they turned out. i don't think i'll ever get tired of taking or seeing photos of my beautiful girl. my continuous goal will have to be to take the verse from our cards truly to heart: "and this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. he who has the Son has life!" 1 john 5:11

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