baby photo.

ok, i know, it doesn't count as a real post, but i went through tons of pictures to make a photo slideshow for my mom's memorial service this past thursday, and i had to share this one. this is me and my mom (with my big brother in the background) in my great aunt and uncle's backyard pool in florida, circa 1984.

i love this picture, it makes me so happy.

needless to say, the loss of my mom, my crafting mentor and sounding board, has thrown my creative world for a total loop. it's hard to enjoy any of my usual take-my-mind-off-of-it activities like crafting or shopping, because they all just make me think of her even more. i know this will be a long process of getting back into some semblance of "normal." i'm having lots of carpe diem thoughts of how to really try my hardest at making something of ellebee studio, and at the same time i'm also thinking it might be a good idea to filter these ideas with a bit of grace and understanding towards myself because of the crazy ups and downs mourning a loved one can bring. the past week has been like one giant mood swing. it's so weird how one (albeit major) event in life brings the struggle between feeling a frantic need for productiveness and an apathetic "all there is is time" attitude.

i'm not sure how all this fits into the crafting i will inevitably do from here, but there it is... my thoughts for what they are. sometimes all you can do is put them out of your head and into existence and wait to see what they really become. i think a little sleep may help bring a bit of clarity too, and so that is where i'm headed...